it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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