If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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