Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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