Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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