I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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