I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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