And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
