Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
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No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
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No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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