Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
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I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
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HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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