Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
honey bunches of taint.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
