Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
