we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm bleeding and have questions
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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