Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
