ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
