respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
