Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
