Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
