we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
