is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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