Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We are two peas in an std pod
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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