your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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