I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
