I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
