It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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