eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
