ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
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