He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sorry about my life...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You ruined the universe
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
