i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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