like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
