We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
