Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
