My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
