Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Also, beer. Big fan.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
