I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
