i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
