My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
so much tequila, so little girl.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
