I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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