No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize