i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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