i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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