I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
