dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
