words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I don't deserve a penis
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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