That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
