His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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