dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
