I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
