Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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