Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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