i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
