Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
