I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize