I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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