I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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