Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
