Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My bed smells like the plague
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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