Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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