That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
